Yesterday, our pastor finished up his four-week series "Anchored" with a message on the Sabbath. It's the first time he has ever preached on that subject at our church, and I was so encouraged/convicted throughout the whole service.
He said a true Sabbath looks like this:
1. It can be any day of the week.
2. It needs to be one full day each week.
3. It can't include anything that has to do with your job or daily work.
Number 3 got me. Because, really? As a SAHM, it's incredibly difficult to have a true Sabbath, based on that criteria.
If I don't wash the dishes today, then I will have two loads to wash tomorrow.
And if I don't cook dinner, my children won't eat.
And then there's the kajillion and one other things that I do as part of my "job" every day. There's feeding, bathing, clothing, educating, and rearing tiny people. There's also wiping, scrubbing, tidying, and de-cluttering the space in which those tiny people live.
So many of the things we SAHM's do as our daily "job" cannot be put on hold. A true Sabbath for us would be a kid-free day in a spotless house and budget for eating out. Yeah... not gonna happen.
So now I'm on a quest. A journey to create space for a Sabbath day in my life.
I'm thinking Fridays, because (during the summer, at least) that's the day Sweet Hubby is home.
It's also the day after Thursday, which is my big laundry day. (Theoretically, all of our clothes are washed, folded, and put away by the time I go to bed on Thursday nights.)
In preparation for my Friday Sabbath, maybe Thursday will also include cooking a couple good "leftover" dishes. Maybe chicken salad? Pasta salad? Anything that can be dipped out onto paper plates and count as a "healthy" meal for the kiddos?
I don't really know how this is going to look, but I am completely, utterly, willfully determined to create a Sabbath in my life.
What about you? As a SAHM (or as a working mom) how do you give yourself a Sabbath?
Monday, June 10, 2013
Monday, June 3, 2013
10 Random Thoughts On Our First Day of Summer Vacation
1. We started the homeschooling trial today. I won't go into all the details, but I will say this: When I walked into the kitchen to find Chloe standing on a chair, singing her math facts at the top of her lungs, I thought, "Yep. This is definitely her style of learning."
2. My Sweet Hubby (who teaches summer school) starts getting home at 1pm every day, and has Fridays completely off. I cannot tell you how ECSTATIC this makes me! Today, we're hitting up the grocery store, farmer's market, and the zoo. I love love love him because he pushes me to get out of the house and be deliberate about making memories. BUT, he also loves doing things on his own with the girls if I am too tired/hormonal/hot/grumpy/pregnant to join them. He is the calming presence in our home AND the adventurer. I couldn't ask for a better combination!
3. Today starts the 10-week countdown to meeting our sweet baby girl! Penelope June is due in mid-August, and every week between now and then is packed to the max! Here's to slowing down a little bit and savoring these last few weeks of pregnancy....
4. Lest you think I'm all butterflies and sugar lumps about this summer, allow me to tell you this: My ankles are totally swollen by 10am everyday. It's a mild summer, by comparison (only a high of 78 today... in June!... in Memphis!... unheard of!), but I am HOT all. the. time. And when I get too hot? I vomit. And when I vomit? I'm sick the rest of the day. And sometimes into the next day. So... yeah... I plan on doing what I can to savor the next 10 weeks, but I will also be SUPER DUPER MAJORLY STOKED to be DONE with this pregnancy.
5. By choice, we are down to one car for a season. Hoping and praying for a minivan by the end of summer!
6. My washing machine broke the night before we left for the beach. But have I ever told you how much I love the coin laundry? Well, I do. Like, seriously love it. I can knock out 4-5 loads of laundry in about an hour. And while they're washing? I sit. And listen to the hum of the machines. And read a book. Or listen to music. Or sip a green tea frap. Or do whatever I want. Without guilt. And without kids.... It's totally like a mid-week mini vacay. So until we get the washer fixed (which should be in the next couple weeks), I'll be scheduling weeklymommy vacations laundry runs.
7. This will be my last summer in my 20's. Turning 30 in 2014...
8. I'm thinking of getting my nose pierced. It's one of those things I've always wanted because, ya know, my nose is just so bare without a tiny jewel on it. And, what the hey, I'm almost 30.
9. I haven't shaved my legs in 2 weeks. And I was at the beach all of the second week. I'm pretty sure the jelly fish left me alone because they were scared of getting stung.
10. I'm pretty sure my mom just gasped in horror at the last two points. And I love her for it. I hope I'm just like her. Except, you know, with a nose ring and hairy legs.
2. My Sweet Hubby (who teaches summer school) starts getting home at 1pm every day, and has Fridays completely off. I cannot tell you how ECSTATIC this makes me! Today, we're hitting up the grocery store, farmer's market, and the zoo. I love love love him because he pushes me to get out of the house and be deliberate about making memories. BUT, he also loves doing things on his own with the girls if I am too tired/hormonal/hot/grumpy/pregnant to join them. He is the calming presence in our home AND the adventurer. I couldn't ask for a better combination!
3. Today starts the 10-week countdown to meeting our sweet baby girl! Penelope June is due in mid-August, and every week between now and then is packed to the max! Here's to slowing down a little bit and savoring these last few weeks of pregnancy....
4. Lest you think I'm all butterflies and sugar lumps about this summer, allow me to tell you this: My ankles are totally swollen by 10am everyday. It's a mild summer, by comparison (only a high of 78 today... in June!... in Memphis!... unheard of!), but I am HOT all. the. time. And when I get too hot? I vomit. And when I vomit? I'm sick the rest of the day. And sometimes into the next day. So... yeah... I plan on doing what I can to savor the next 10 weeks, but I will also be SUPER DUPER MAJORLY STOKED to be DONE with this pregnancy.
5. By choice, we are down to one car for a season. Hoping and praying for a minivan by the end of summer!
6. My washing machine broke the night before we left for the beach. But have I ever told you how much I love the coin laundry? Well, I do. Like, seriously love it. I can knock out 4-5 loads of laundry in about an hour. And while they're washing? I sit. And listen to the hum of the machines. And read a book. Or listen to music. Or sip a green tea frap. Or do whatever I want. Without guilt. And without kids.... It's totally like a mid-week mini vacay. So until we get the washer fixed (which should be in the next couple weeks), I'll be scheduling weekly
7. This will be my last summer in my 20's. Turning 30 in 2014...
8. I'm thinking of getting my nose pierced. It's one of those things I've always wanted because, ya know, my nose is just so bare without a tiny jewel on it. And, what the hey, I'm almost 30.
9. I haven't shaved my legs in 2 weeks. And I was at the beach all of the second week. I'm pretty sure the jelly fish left me alone because they were scared of getting stung.
10. I'm pretty sure my mom just gasped in horror at the last two points. And I love her for it. I hope I'm just like her. Except, you know, with a nose ring and hairy legs.
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Operation Sanity Part 2A: Little Drops
One of my favorite things in the world is to watch colors swirl in water. When we dye Easter eggs, we use clear mugs, mainly because I love to watch that single drop of food coloring twist and flow and spread itself so far that the entire liquid changes in appearance.
My morning routine goes like this: coffee, then creamer. Never the other way around. Because there is something so soothing and visually melodic about watching the cream disappear beneath the surface of the black and reemerge in its milky tan spiral as I stir.
I love it... it soothes my heart.
Let's call that endearingly quirky instead of super weird, mmkay?
I bring this up because our family has recently added a few drops of sanity into the otherwise chaotic waters of life, and the resulting color change has been magnificent. These are small changes. Insignificant. When I tell you about them, you will say, "That's it?" And I will say, "Ah... but watch it swirl."
So without further buildup (because, seriously, these are minor, minor changes), here are our little drops of sanity:
1. I threw away my kids socks. Matching up socks is the bane of my existence. Seriously. I hate it. Hence, socks rarely got matched. I cannot tell you how many mornings went in the red zone (interpreted: everybody screaming in a panic because we're so late the school day might actually be finished by the time we get there) because I was digging through a basket of socks trying to find that one pink sock with the green stripes that I knew had been sitting on top of the pile the night before but now had disappeared into the heart of the mountain, never to be seen or heard from again. So one day a few months ago, I blindly threw them all in the trash in a fit of sock rage I methodically gathered them up and disposed of them without uttering one single curse word. Then I went to Target and invested in three packs of the exact. same. socks. My girls are close enough in age that they can share socks, and I have matched nary a pair since that day. Socks go in a central location, and when mommy says "Get your socks on," the girls know to grab one for each foot and proceed to don said respective feet. The end. No more matching. No more digging through baskets. No more cursing under my breath at that @#$(&% missing pink sock airing out my sock frustration in a perfectly healthy, Christian way.
2. The girls tidy their rooms every morning. Who woulda thunk that adding yet another item to the laundry list that is the morning routine would be in any way peaceful? But, oh my word, I love it. We started by spending some time in each room, pruning and organizing. This was not as drastic as it sounds. I put each girl's toys in one big container/box/basket in their respective rooms (more on this in Part 1). We also created space for their "treasures" (tiny scraps of paper, flower petals, stones, and dried play-doh that appear to the naked eye as trash but are, in fact, priceless childhood possessions that, if ever missing, will cause massive weeping and wailing and gnashing of the teeth of tiny little females). Maple has a small desk with a drawer. Chloe (who has significantly more tiny treasures) has a shelf above her bed and her two bedside table drawers. We also put a laundry hamper in each room for - you guessed it - laundry. So every morning, the girls take two minutes (usually while mommy is watching cream swirl and doing likewise productive things) to put everything back in its place. And since we do it every morning, it has never taken more than two minutes. Ahhhh....
3. The girls make their own beds. And I don't fix them. Not even Maple's bed. Which is made up by Maple. Who is three. As much as it goes against my control-freak nature, I have never, not once, corrected or "remade" the beds after they are finished. And you know what I see on their faces when they're finished? Pure and unadulterated pride. They are so proud of their clean rooms and made up beds! If there is a morning that I take for granted that it's been done, Maple pulls on my elbow (which inevitably spills that first sip of coffee) and says: "Hey mommy, wanna come see my woom?" Sparkly eyes are so much better than perfect sheets. And semi-spread beds are so much better than wadded up blankets in the floor.
4. We speed clean. My kiddos are notorious slowpokes. Whether it's getting dressed or eating or cleaning up, neither one has a hurry bone in her little body. So our cleanup time was often peppered with "if this toy is still here the next time I come in here" or "I'm not going to say it again" or "how many times do I have to step on a lego before you realize your mother needs both her feet and maybe you should pick them up!?" Until flylady saved the day.
I have tried flylady methodology in the past, and I just can't seem to wrap my ADHD cleaning brain around the concept. But one thing that stuck is the timed cleanup. If a task seems too overwhelming to even start, I tell myself, "I'll work for 15 minutes (or 30 or 45 or whatever), and when that time is up, I'm done, regardless of the condition of the task." Most of the time I finish the task before my timer goes off. Sometimes I am so engrossed in the task I don't even hear the timer and end up finishing it anyways. Occasionally I leave the task when the timer goes off and do another timed cleaning the next day. It works for me. I love it.
So I tried it with my kids. I started timing their cleanup. And it worked! What I love about this is that there is no nagging or begging or threatening. They just spring into gear!
Note: I don't say "If you're not done by the time I count to 3..." Instead, it sounds more like, "Hey kiddos! I bet we can get this cleaned up in 30 seconds! Ready... set... GO!" And I count to 30. Also: I don't use a timer. Something about the sound of my voice counting helps the girls stay on task, and I can speed up or slow down the counting as needed if a task is taking less or more time than the allotted 30 seconds. I also have a really big mouth, so I can yell my counting from whatever room I happen to be in.
I have more little drops of sanity, but this post is already a kajillion miles long. Kudos to those of you who stuck through it. I shall attempt to come back soon and finish up! Love y'all bunches!
My morning routine goes like this: coffee, then creamer. Never the other way around. Because there is something so soothing and visually melodic about watching the cream disappear beneath the surface of the black and reemerge in its milky tan spiral as I stir.
I love it... it soothes my heart.
Let's call that endearingly quirky instead of super weird, mmkay?
I bring this up because our family has recently added a few drops of sanity into the otherwise chaotic waters of life, and the resulting color change has been magnificent. These are small changes. Insignificant. When I tell you about them, you will say, "That's it?" And I will say, "Ah... but watch it swirl."
So without further buildup (because, seriously, these are minor, minor changes), here are our little drops of sanity:
1. I threw away my kids socks. Matching up socks is the bane of my existence. Seriously. I hate it. Hence, socks rarely got matched. I cannot tell you how many mornings went in the red zone (interpreted: everybody screaming in a panic because we're so late the school day might actually be finished by the time we get there) because I was digging through a basket of socks trying to find that one pink sock with the green stripes that I knew had been sitting on top of the pile the night before but now had disappeared into the heart of the mountain, never to be seen or heard from again. So one day a few months ago,
2. The girls tidy their rooms every morning. Who woulda thunk that adding yet another item to the laundry list that is the morning routine would be in any way peaceful? But, oh my word, I love it. We started by spending some time in each room, pruning and organizing. This was not as drastic as it sounds. I put each girl's toys in one big container/box/basket in their respective rooms (more on this in Part 1). We also created space for their "treasures" (tiny scraps of paper, flower petals, stones, and dried play-doh that appear to the naked eye as trash but are, in fact, priceless childhood possessions that, if ever missing, will cause massive weeping and wailing and gnashing of the teeth of tiny little females). Maple has a small desk with a drawer. Chloe (who has significantly more tiny treasures) has a shelf above her bed and her two bedside table drawers. We also put a laundry hamper in each room for - you guessed it - laundry. So every morning, the girls take two minutes (usually while mommy is watching cream swirl and doing likewise productive things) to put everything back in its place. And since we do it every morning, it has never taken more than two minutes. Ahhhh....
3. The girls make their own beds. And I don't fix them. Not even Maple's bed. Which is made up by Maple. Who is three. As much as it goes against my control-freak nature, I have never, not once, corrected or "remade" the beds after they are finished. And you know what I see on their faces when they're finished? Pure and unadulterated pride. They are so proud of their clean rooms and made up beds! If there is a morning that I take for granted that it's been done, Maple pulls on my elbow (which inevitably spills that first sip of coffee) and says: "Hey mommy, wanna come see my woom?" Sparkly eyes are so much better than perfect sheets. And semi-spread beds are so much better than wadded up blankets in the floor.
4. We speed clean. My kiddos are notorious slowpokes. Whether it's getting dressed or eating or cleaning up, neither one has a hurry bone in her little body. So our cleanup time was often peppered with "if this toy is still here the next time I come in here" or "I'm not going to say it again" or "how many times do I have to step on a lego before you realize your mother needs both her feet and maybe you should pick them up!?" Until flylady saved the day.
I have tried flylady methodology in the past, and I just can't seem to wrap my ADHD cleaning brain around the concept. But one thing that stuck is the timed cleanup. If a task seems too overwhelming to even start, I tell myself, "I'll work for 15 minutes (or 30 or 45 or whatever), and when that time is up, I'm done, regardless of the condition of the task." Most of the time I finish the task before my timer goes off. Sometimes I am so engrossed in the task I don't even hear the timer and end up finishing it anyways. Occasionally I leave the task when the timer goes off and do another timed cleaning the next day. It works for me. I love it.
So I tried it with my kids. I started timing their cleanup. And it worked! What I love about this is that there is no nagging or begging or threatening. They just spring into gear!
Note: I don't say "If you're not done by the time I count to 3..." Instead, it sounds more like, "Hey kiddos! I bet we can get this cleaned up in 30 seconds! Ready... set... GO!" And I count to 30. Also: I don't use a timer. Something about the sound of my voice counting helps the girls stay on task, and I can speed up or slow down the counting as needed if a task is taking less or more time than the allotted 30 seconds. I also have a really big mouth, so I can yell my counting from whatever room I happen to be in.
I have more little drops of sanity, but this post is already a kajillion miles long. Kudos to those of you who stuck through it. I shall attempt to come back soon and finish up! Love y'all bunches!
Friday, May 17, 2013
Operation Sanity: Girl Stuff (part 1)
It has been 10 days since I wrote about using business skills in my homemaking efforts.
I actually started this process a couple weeks before writing about it, as the Lord was prompting my heart to see this whole SAHM thing as a long-term gig.
It's going swimmingly; so I thought I'd give you a few updates.
From hence forth, any such attempts shall be part of the larger production: Operation Sanity.
So after making a kajillion and one lists, Operation Sanity began with one project: Girl Stuff.
Girl Stuff is all the pink and purple and polka dot and rainbow and sparkly things that take over my house. This includes toys, shoes, clothes, hair bows, pillows, bags, books, and DVD's. But mainly toys (because if I step on one more lego....)
Seriously... this stuff was EVERYWHERE! Especially between 5pm on Friday and 8am on Monday. It goes like this: On Friday at 5pm, the last of the parents pick up their wee ones from my house. Enter Hurricane Girls Gone Wildly Messy (HGGWM). It rips through my house and leaves me with a FEMA-worthy destruction site by the time Chloe gets on the bus on Monday mornings.
It took me all day Monday (every Monday) to put things back in place... mainly because I had lost the use of my feet after stepping on shards of piercing shiny plastic torture devices (aka, legos).
I have tried many toy-organization systems in the past. Most recently, we divided toys into 5 containers and rotated the containers every couple days. My only rule was that each container had x number of toys. So if they wanted to keep and play with a toy out of container 1, then they had to pick a toy from container 2 to put back, etc. We ended up with four containers full of toys nobody wanted, and one container full of I-will-fight-you-to-the-death-for-these-because-every-single-one-is-my-very-favorite-toy toys.
It was all downhill from there.
So, about three weeks ago, after a particularly harrowing weekend of HGGWM and I-will-fight-you-to-the-death interventions, I decided to get drastic(ish). I put all the toys in one huge pile in our living room. Then I had the girls take turns picking which toys they wanted. Maple's picks were labeled with an "M," and Chloe's toys were labeled with a "C." (I'm nothing, if not creative.) The only toys not labeled were legos, kitchen accessories (that go with their play kitchen), books, and dollhouse furniture.
The rules go like this:
I also ditched the idea of keeping the toys in small, categorized containers (another system we have tried in the past, to no avail). Because Chloe chose mostly small figurines and Barbies, she throws all her toys in a large wooden toy box in her room. Because Maple chose mostly stuffed animals and dolls, she tosses her toys in the bottom of her closet. Neither place is pretty, but both can be hidden (behind a lid or a door) and thereby completely ignored by mommy. (Adapting an out-of-sight-out-of-mind mindset is another part of my new sanity plan. Perhaps I'll write more on that later.)
It's only been three weeks, but I think that has given me enough time to claim that this has been BY. FAR. the most successful toy organization system we have ever used. It goes perfectly hand-in-hand with the new "speed cleans" (which I shall write about in another post), and there have been no tears over toy-sharing in three. weeks. (Can I get a witness?! ThankyouJesus!!)
Of course, being sisters, the girls have found new things to fight over. But any argument that starts with toys ends with one question: Whose initials are on the toy? The. End. No more whining (about toys). No more tattling (about sharing). And no more threatening to take away every toy you own because some children have no toys and would love to have as many as you have and you should just choose another of your kajillion toys instead of fighting over the one that's in your sister's hand!
But mainly, I haven't stepped on any legos. ThankyouJesus!!
I actually started this process a couple weeks before writing about it, as the Lord was prompting my heart to see this whole SAHM thing as a long-term gig.
It's going swimmingly; so I thought I'd give you a few updates.
From hence forth, any such attempts shall be part of the larger production: Operation Sanity.
So after making a kajillion and one lists, Operation Sanity began with one project: Girl Stuff.
Girl Stuff is all the pink and purple and polka dot and rainbow and sparkly things that take over my house. This includes toys, shoes, clothes, hair bows, pillows, bags, books, and DVD's. But mainly toys (because if I step on one more lego....)
Seriously... this stuff was EVERYWHERE! Especially between 5pm on Friday and 8am on Monday. It goes like this: On Friday at 5pm, the last of the parents pick up their wee ones from my house. Enter Hurricane Girls Gone Wildly Messy (HGGWM). It rips through my house and leaves me with a FEMA-worthy destruction site by the time Chloe gets on the bus on Monday mornings.
It took me all day Monday (every Monday) to put things back in place... mainly because I had lost the use of my feet after stepping on shards of piercing shiny plastic torture devices (aka, legos).
I have tried many toy-organization systems in the past. Most recently, we divided toys into 5 containers and rotated the containers every couple days. My only rule was that each container had x number of toys. So if they wanted to keep and play with a toy out of container 1, then they had to pick a toy from container 2 to put back, etc. We ended up with four containers full of toys nobody wanted, and one container full of I-will-fight-you-to-the-death-for-these-because-every-single-one-is-my-very-favorite-toy toys.
It was all downhill from there.
So, about three weeks ago, after a particularly harrowing weekend of HGGWM and I-will-fight-you-to-the-death interventions, I decided to get drastic(ish). I put all the toys in one huge pile in our living room. Then I had the girls take turns picking which toys they wanted. Maple's picks were labeled with an "M," and Chloe's toys were labeled with a "C." (I'm nothing, if not creative.) The only toys not labeled were legos, kitchen accessories (that go with their play kitchen), books, and dollhouse furniture.
The rules go like this:
1.
Your toys stay in your room.
Only the four categories listed above (legos, kitchen, books, dollhouse) may stay in the play area, in their designated spaces.
2.
You MAY share your toys with your sister...
but if a fight breaks out, the toy goes to the person whose initial is on it.
3.
I will ask you to pick up your toys once.
After that, they will be transported to an undisclosed location to be returned to you upon completion of one chore - the time and task to be determined by yours truly.
I also ditched the idea of keeping the toys in small, categorized containers (another system we have tried in the past, to no avail). Because Chloe chose mostly small figurines and Barbies, she throws all her toys in a large wooden toy box in her room. Because Maple chose mostly stuffed animals and dolls, she tosses her toys in the bottom of her closet. Neither place is pretty, but both can be hidden (behind a lid or a door) and thereby completely ignored by mommy. (Adapting an out-of-sight-out-of-mind mindset is another part of my new sanity plan. Perhaps I'll write more on that later.)
It's only been three weeks, but I think that has given me enough time to claim that this has been BY. FAR. the most successful toy organization system we have ever used. It goes perfectly hand-in-hand with the new "speed cleans" (which I shall write about in another post), and there have been no tears over toy-sharing in three. weeks. (Can I get a witness?! ThankyouJesus!!)
Of course, being sisters, the girls have found new things to fight over. But any argument that starts with toys ends with one question: Whose initials are on the toy? The. End. No more whining (about toys). No more tattling (about sharing). And no more threatening to take away every toy you own because some children have no toys and would love to have as many as you have and you should just choose another of your kajillion toys instead of fighting over the one that's in your sister's hand!
But mainly, I haven't stepped on any legos. ThankyouJesus!!
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
The seasons of summer
Yesterday was a fun day for the Thixton crew. After daddy headed off to work, we three girls went to our beloved McD's for sausage biscuits. (One of the things that went out the window when I decided to stay home was our eating out budget. So dollar menu biscuits are a rare and cheer-inducing treat for the wee ones.)
Then we dropped Maple off at her beloved "Titi Liz's" house. Maple loves her Titi, who cared for her and loved on her while I was working full time, and many of Maple's best friends still go to Titi's house. Maple was so excited to see them all, and almost started crying when I didn't get her out of her car seat fast enough.
After being completely ignored by my three year old, who couldn't care less that I was leaving her for the day, Chloe and I headed to her school for 1st grade field day. I absolutely loved seeing Chloe interacting with her peers, lining up caterpillar-style so they could all slide down the slide at once, busting a move to "Move it, Move it," and pretending to hate getting wet in the water games (though vigorously volunteering to be the one who gets soaked).
(This was yet another reminder that we are not being forced into homeschooling. We have another option, and it too is a good one.)
Then: a picnic on the grass, a battle to drag Maple away from Titi's house, a short nap, a sweet little boy with blonde curly hair and big blue eyes (who comes to my house a few days a week), and a walk/bike ride to get Chloe off the bus.
And because that clearly wasn't enough fun for one day, after the curly-haired cutie left, we four (and a half) Thixtons decided to go swimming.
(And through it all, I kept regretting that last "drop and crash" that rendered my phone's camera completely kaput. Note to self: start saving for a decent point-and-shoot.)
It was all wonderful and fun and a day I don't think I will soon forget.
But...
Days like yesterday - full of life and fun and short naps and late bedtimes - lead to mornings like this - full of meltdowns and tears and (on my part) a desire for more coffee.
That's life, isn't it? I've come to expect these mornings after those days. But I choose those days anyway. Because I know those days only come around every once in a while and all-too-soon will not be an option for us anymore.
So while I'm listening to my sleepy three-year-old cry over her scrambled eggs (because the cheese and eggs are touching, apparently), I'm remembering the way the setting sun shone off the top of her head in the pool. And how the only thing that outshone that reflection was the sparkle in her eyes while she waited for her daddy to toss her in the air.
While I'm threatening my six-year-old, for the third time this morning, to please get dressed or I will put you on the bus in your pajamas, I'm remembering how I only had to ask her once if she wanted to jump in the deep end with me and how she squealed with excitement as she broke up through the water and shouted that she had touched the bottom with her feet.
And while I sip my coffee and make the guilt-free choice to plop my sleepy preschooler in front of Toy Story 2, I'm remembering that yesterday was TV-free and full of fun and excitement and summer goodness. And I'm remembering that everyday can't be like yesterday, and everyday won't be like today, and it's the balance and the seasons and the change of it all that makes life what it is. Blessed. Busy. Worth it.
Then we dropped Maple off at her beloved "Titi Liz's" house. Maple loves her Titi, who cared for her and loved on her while I was working full time, and many of Maple's best friends still go to Titi's house. Maple was so excited to see them all, and almost started crying when I didn't get her out of her car seat fast enough.
After being completely ignored by my three year old, who couldn't care less that I was leaving her for the day, Chloe and I headed to her school for 1st grade field day. I absolutely loved seeing Chloe interacting with her peers, lining up caterpillar-style so they could all slide down the slide at once, busting a move to "Move it, Move it," and pretending to hate getting wet in the water games (though vigorously volunteering to be the one who gets soaked).
(This was yet another reminder that we are not being forced into homeschooling. We have another option, and it too is a good one.)
Then: a picnic on the grass, a battle to drag Maple away from Titi's house, a short nap, a sweet little boy with blonde curly hair and big blue eyes (who comes to my house a few days a week), and a walk/bike ride to get Chloe off the bus.
And because that clearly wasn't enough fun for one day, after the curly-haired cutie left, we four (and a half) Thixtons decided to go swimming.
(And through it all, I kept regretting that last "drop and crash" that rendered my phone's camera completely kaput. Note to self: start saving for a decent point-and-shoot.)
It was all wonderful and fun and a day I don't think I will soon forget.
But...
Days like yesterday - full of life and fun and short naps and late bedtimes - lead to mornings like this - full of meltdowns and tears and (on my part) a desire for more coffee.
That's life, isn't it? I've come to expect these mornings after those days. But I choose those days anyway. Because I know those days only come around every once in a while and all-too-soon will not be an option for us anymore.
So while I'm listening to my sleepy three-year-old cry over her scrambled eggs (because the cheese and eggs are touching, apparently), I'm remembering the way the setting sun shone off the top of her head in the pool. And how the only thing that outshone that reflection was the sparkle in her eyes while she waited for her daddy to toss her in the air.
While I'm threatening my six-year-old, for the third time this morning, to please get dressed or I will put you on the bus in your pajamas, I'm remembering how I only had to ask her once if she wanted to jump in the deep end with me and how she squealed with excitement as she broke up through the water and shouted that she had touched the bottom with her feet.
And while I sip my coffee and make the guilt-free choice to plop my sleepy preschooler in front of Toy Story 2, I'm remembering that yesterday was TV-free and full of fun and excitement and summer goodness. And I'm remembering that everyday can't be like yesterday, and everyday won't be like today, and it's the balance and the seasons and the change of it all that makes life what it is. Blessed. Busy. Worth it.
Monday, May 13, 2013
Get 'er done!
I'm sitting here this morning, sipping my coffee, planning my day (laundry, mopping, dusting, playing outside, maybe some play-doh?) And I'm so grateful to be able to do all that... to be wearing clothes besides pajamas... to have shoes on...
I've never had much compassion for women who complained about being on bed rest. You've been told by a medical professional that you're not allowed to do housework, cook meals, buy groceries, or otherwise exert yourself. You get to lie around and watch movies all day, without the typical "mom guilt" because there is nothing else you "should" be doing. What on earth are you complaining about?
... Until they put me on bed rest... for only TWO DAYS... and I felt like I was going out. of. my. mind.
So, my apologies to any of you moms who were put on bed rest for weeks or months at a time. I might have silently judged your complaints. And I am humbled.
Everything is fine. I'm no longer on bed rest, and I have a check up next week where I'm sure the doctor will tell me everything is exactly the way it should be for this point in the pregnancy.
But this weekend gave me a scare... mainly because I still have so much to do! I'm 15 weeks away from my due date, which sounds like a lot... except that 15 weeks ago, I was hovering over a toilet on New Years Day praying to God that my breakfast would stay down... and that feels like it was yesterday (oh wait, that did happen yesterday... but you get what I'm saying, right?) 15 weeks is not that long.
Especially when I consider everything there is to do between now and then: field day, end of school parties, Maple's birthday, a wedding, a vacation, kids camp, a trip to Haiti (for Brandon), and lots of prep for our first year of homeschooling.... not to mention actually getting ready for the baby. You know, things like buying a baby bed, and making space for a baby and all her stuff... oh yeah... and picking a name.... we should probably do that.
So today... since I'm NOT on bed rest... I'm motivated to take advantage of the time that I have.
I will do laundry. Lots and lots of laundry. I will detail clean my living room (mopping, dusting, and tackling the stuff that's hanging off my ceiling fan). And at the end of today, I will be one step closer to being ready for this summer... and ready for baby.... At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
I've never had much compassion for women who complained about being on bed rest. You've been told by a medical professional that you're not allowed to do housework, cook meals, buy groceries, or otherwise exert yourself. You get to lie around and watch movies all day, without the typical "mom guilt" because there is nothing else you "should" be doing. What on earth are you complaining about?
... Until they put me on bed rest... for only TWO DAYS... and I felt like I was going out. of. my. mind.
So, my apologies to any of you moms who were put on bed rest for weeks or months at a time. I might have silently judged your complaints. And I am humbled.
Everything is fine. I'm no longer on bed rest, and I have a check up next week where I'm sure the doctor will tell me everything is exactly the way it should be for this point in the pregnancy.
But this weekend gave me a scare... mainly because I still have so much to do! I'm 15 weeks away from my due date, which sounds like a lot... except that 15 weeks ago, I was hovering over a toilet on New Years Day praying to God that my breakfast would stay down... and that feels like it was yesterday (oh wait, that did happen yesterday... but you get what I'm saying, right?) 15 weeks is not that long.
Especially when I consider everything there is to do between now and then: field day, end of school parties, Maple's birthday, a wedding, a vacation, kids camp, a trip to Haiti (for Brandon), and lots of prep for our first year of homeschooling.... not to mention actually getting ready for the baby. You know, things like buying a baby bed, and making space for a baby and all her stuff... oh yeah... and picking a name.... we should probably do that.
So today... since I'm NOT on bed rest... I'm motivated to take advantage of the time that I have.
I will do laundry. Lots and lots of laundry. I will detail clean my living room (mopping, dusting, and tackling the stuff that's hanging off my ceiling fan). And at the end of today, I will be one step closer to being ready for this summer... and ready for baby.... At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
Monday, May 6, 2013
SAHM success
I have been a Stay At Home Mom three times in my life.
Once for a year in Korea, where I was a "Samonim" (pastor's wife).
Once for a school year, while Sweet Hubby and I were interning at the Life Church.
Both of those seasons were temporary, and I knew it. I knew that at the end of that year-long season, I would seek employment outside the home. I have never considered being a full-time, long-term SAHM. Ever.
So it has taken quite a mental shift for me to see this whole SAHM gig as a full-time, long-term deal. And, I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I've been treading water.
Because when you know that something is temporary, you are constantly working for the end goal. "When I go back to work, I want to have X, Y, and Z completed at home."
But when there is no end in sight, well, it's like the difference between swimming in a pool and swimming in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. In one case, you at least know in which direction to head. In the second case, you're really just doing well to keep your head above water. Know what I mean?
So I've spent the past few weeks praying and asking the Lord for vision and purpose in this new, long-term season.
Part of my frustration with staying home as been this: at one point in my life, I was a fairly decent business woman. I had organizational skills out the wazoo... created filing systems... moved personnel around to suit their strengths (and the needs of our department)... stood toe-to-toe with other department heads... set and completed weekly, monthly, and quarterly goals.
I couldn't stand for my desk to be a mess because I knew that a messy desk meant less productivity for me, and more time looking for files and phone numbers. I expected my department to be run in the same way... and I expected everyone in my department to do their part to make sure it happened.
At one point in life, I was good at what I did.
So I have had these two pictures of myself. One - in a work environment where I was on my game, successful, flourishing, organized. And another - at home, in a messy life, with a messy schedule... treading water.
But this past weekend, it was as if Someone took those two pictures in my head and merged them together.
I was good at business because I knew my strengths and I played on them: I was organized. I managed people well. I could see the big picture AND the little details. I saw long-term goals and the short-terms goals we would need in order to reach the long-term ones. I spent TIME and ENERGY planning my days, looking at goals (long and short term), and implementing new systems when the old ones were no longer working.
And for some reason, somewhere along the way, I decided those skills were irrelevant in SAHM-dom.
I know, right?!
So last night after the kiddos were in bed, I decided to put some of my strengths to use. (Oh, the lists!!!)
First stop: revamping the way we use our "extra" money each month... and figuring out how to spend less of that "extra" money so we can make and reach some long-term goals.
Second stop: revamping chores (like I revamped my department) where EVERYONE has a vital role to play as well as daily, weekly, and quarterly goals.
Third stop: revamping our eating with goals to improve our nutrition and cut down on our grocery budget.
I might blog about some or all of the journey. I'll def keep a journal of it for myself (just like I did at the office) so I can keep track of successes and failures and know what works for the future.
At one point in my life, I was successful. I'm ready to do it again. Starting today.
Once for a year in Korea, where I was a "Samonim" (pastor's wife).
Once for a school year, while Sweet Hubby and I were interning at the Life Church.
Both of those seasons were temporary, and I knew it. I knew that at the end of that year-long season, I would seek employment outside the home. I have never considered being a full-time, long-term SAHM. Ever.
So it has taken quite a mental shift for me to see this whole SAHM gig as a full-time, long-term deal. And, I'm not gonna sugar coat it, I've been treading water.
Because when you know that something is temporary, you are constantly working for the end goal. "When I go back to work, I want to have X, Y, and Z completed at home."
But when there is no end in sight, well, it's like the difference between swimming in a pool and swimming in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight. In one case, you at least know in which direction to head. In the second case, you're really just doing well to keep your head above water. Know what I mean?
So I've spent the past few weeks praying and asking the Lord for vision and purpose in this new, long-term season.
Part of my frustration with staying home as been this: at one point in my life, I was a fairly decent business woman. I had organizational skills out the wazoo... created filing systems... moved personnel around to suit their strengths (and the needs of our department)... stood toe-to-toe with other department heads... set and completed weekly, monthly, and quarterly goals.
I couldn't stand for my desk to be a mess because I knew that a messy desk meant less productivity for me, and more time looking for files and phone numbers. I expected my department to be run in the same way... and I expected everyone in my department to do their part to make sure it happened.
At one point in life, I was good at what I did.
So I have had these two pictures of myself. One - in a work environment where I was on my game, successful, flourishing, organized. And another - at home, in a messy life, with a messy schedule... treading water.
But this past weekend, it was as if Someone took those two pictures in my head and merged them together.
I was good at business because I knew my strengths and I played on them: I was organized. I managed people well. I could see the big picture AND the little details. I saw long-term goals and the short-terms goals we would need in order to reach the long-term ones. I spent TIME and ENERGY planning my days, looking at goals (long and short term), and implementing new systems when the old ones were no longer working.
And for some reason, somewhere along the way, I decided those skills were irrelevant in SAHM-dom.
I know, right?!
So last night after the kiddos were in bed, I decided to put some of my strengths to use. (Oh, the lists!!!)
First stop: revamping the way we use our "extra" money each month... and figuring out how to spend less of that "extra" money so we can make and reach some long-term goals.
Second stop: revamping chores (like I revamped my department) where EVERYONE has a vital role to play as well as daily, weekly, and quarterly goals.
Third stop: revamping our eating with goals to improve our nutrition and cut down on our grocery budget.
I might blog about some or all of the journey. I'll def keep a journal of it for myself (just like I did at the office) so I can keep track of successes and failures and know what works for the future.
At one point in my life, I was successful. I'm ready to do it again. Starting today.
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