Goodbye to 2011.

Throughout 2011, my mom said a phrase to me over and over again: "And wipe your feet on your way out the door."

It's a silly phrase, really. Per our Korean tradition, our girls wipe their feet and take off their shoes when they come into our home. On today's rainy Sunday morning, I watched person after person wipe their feet on the large black floor mats, put their umbrellas into the plastic bags that were available, shake the rain out of their hair, and walk into the church. My daughter often reminds me when we walk into a store, "Please be sweet and wipe your feet."

But... Who wipes their feet on their way out of a place?

I do. That's who.

Difficult things happened in 2011. Wonderful things happened too.

I got fired.
I lost friendships.
I lost hope.
I lost perspective.
I struggled through a bout of depression.
I sent my first child to kindergarten.
I served my husband after his painful knee injury.
I gained new friends.
I continued to mourn the loss of old friends.
I served at church.
I fell in love with my church. 
I walked through healing and restoration.
I gained weight.
I gained knowledge.
I gained self-forgiveness.
I gained perspective.
I gained a dog. 
I learned what I really want from life.
I learned that what I want doesn't matter nearly as much as what I'm willing to work for.
I learned to hope.


There are lessons that I hope to pick up and carry with me as I leave the year 2011.

Lessons about forgiveness.
About being planted in God's house.
About accepting what is.
About loving what isn't. 
About the mark of a true friend.
About emotional boundaries.

But there are things I have walked through in 2011 that should be left schmeared on its doormat as I leave. Things that should be recognized as the [enter expletive here] that it is.

Lies that I believed about myself.
Cruel words - from my own lips and the lips of others.
Regret.
Leased out mental space.
Bitterness.
Unforgiveness.
Apathy.
Laziness.
Negativity.
Those things will have no place in 2012. They have taken up enough of my time and energy.

So if you'll pardon my mom's silly phrase, I'm excited - and deliberate - when I say: I'm wiping my feet on the way out the door.

Plans for Fall Break

My husband is the fun-maker in our home. If I am home alone with the girls for a day, I think, "Oh good, we all get a day to relax." For me, it is a day of pajamas and movies and peanut butter sandwiches.

When my husband gets a day home with the girls, he thinks, "Awesome! We should ride our bikes and go to the zoo and end the day at Chuck E Cheese." (That last idea made me shudder. Ick!)

So next week is fall break. In the past, if we all have an entire week off, we head south to see family. But since Brandon just had surgery on his ACL, he is unable to ride that far.

Here's what I'm trying to say. Next week. All week. The whole family is home. Sweet Hubby - the fun-maker - is incapacitated. Oh, and did I mention that we have zero dollars in our budget for anything like the movies or museums? Yeah. I have been in a slight panic.

Since I'm not one to let panic "set in," I have devised a plan for each day next week. Here goes...

MONDAY - Decorate for fall day. I have several art projects with construction paper, finger paint, wax paper, etc. that the girls can do to decorate their room for fall. Chloe will love that she has some say in how her room is decorated, and Maple will love making a mess with all the paint.

TUESDAY - Library and blanket fort day. It's supposed to be rainy and yucky on Tuesday; so I thought we'd start the day (before the rain sets in) picking out fall books at the library. Then the girls can come home and build the biggest blanket fort EVER and read their books. (A movie might be included around nap time.)

WEDNESDAY - Pumpkin Pickin' Day. We're not going to a pumpkin patch this year because we don't want to do anything that leaves Sweet Hubby out of the festivities. So we're heading to the Farmer's Market to get our pumpkin supply. Since my girls are too little to carve the pumpkin themselves, we will get one big one for the whole family. Then we can get smaller pumpkins and gourds for them to color with permanent marker and/or paint.

THURSDAY - Ti-pi in the back yard day. I'm not really sure how this is going to work, but off the top of my head, I'm thinking a large sheet from Goodwill and my paint easel. I'm planning to spread the sheet on the ground and letting the girls paint it. Then I'll secure it to the easel and pile pillows and blankets under it for a fun play area outside.

FRIDAY - Cooking with mommy day. We'll start the day with pancakes (which Chloe would do by herself if I would let her). Then we'll make a batch of sugar cookies and make these fall leaves.

Each day will probably have some reading/study time with daddy and some down time in front of a movie. But it's nice to have some activities planned outside of the normal daily flow.

What about you? What are you planning for fall break?

Four Simple Things...

It's October 10th. Seriously. October. Tenth. Two Thousand and Eleven.

Gahhh...

It's also 11:18am, and I have spent the majority of my morning making lists. They are titled things like: "THINGS I DON'T LIKE ABOUT MY HOUSE THAT I DO HAVE THE ABILITY TO CHANGE" and "THINGS I WANT TO REDUCE IN MY LIFE" and "THINGS I WANT TO INCREASE IN MY LIFE" and "THINGS THAT SMELL FUNNY." That last one was a joke. Just making sure you're still with me.

I have also hopped around different websites creating a cleaning schedule for myself and my kids. (I can't believe they are actually old enough to start helping me. Crazy!)

I would have also made a list for Sweet Hubby, but it's almost basketball season. He's a coach. I think he'll have enough on his hands.

I said AAAALLLLL that to say this: Today begins...

21 DAYS OF ALL THINGS GOOD.

My final list is comprised of certain things that I know I can start doing RIGHT NOW and maintain for at least 21 days. I'm not saying these things will happen every day for the rest of my life, or even for the next 22 days. But I'm saying I can do them for 21 days, and I'm hoping that at least some of them will stick around longer.

So without further ado...

21 DAYS OF ALL THINGS GOOD:

1. Reuse, re-purpose. When I kick off a new cleaning routine, I tend to use one foot to clean and the other foot to spend. (Get it? Kick? Foot? Hehe...) Not this time. This time, if I see an organization need, I will scour my house and storage for an item that can be reused or re-purposed to meet that need. My goal: to spend LESS THAN $10 in the next 21 days on organization items.

2. All things done by 3pm. As you can probably tell by now, I am a list person. Heck, I spent half my day today making lists and not actually accomplishing anything ON those lists. So I'm giving myself a deadline: Each day, that day's list MUST be completed by 3pm or it doesn't get done. No more surfing the web for two hours in the morning only to stay up past bedtime to complete my list. No more reading a good book during the day, only to ignore my family while I clean the house in the evening. If it's not done by 3pm, it's not getting done.

3. Goodbye, sweets! For the last several mornings, my breakfast/lunch/snack routine has been comprised of whatever delectable sweetness happens to be sitting on my counter. Donuts, pie, cookies, more donuts, more pie... and I'm thinking that might not be the most healthy of choices. Sweet Hubby cut out sweets on October 1st, which left even MORE sweets to be consumed in our house. Ick. So for the next 21 days, I will fall in line beside him and cut out sweets.

4. Clean as I go. I will pick up after myself. If I have a cup of coffee while sitting on the couch, I will take that empty cup to the sink when I get up. If I do my art on the coffee table, I will return all art supplies to the craft room when I'm done. It sounds simple, but I'm here to tell you that if this is the ONLY item on my list that I actually STICK with in the next 21 days, it will be life changing.


That's it. Four things. Reuse and Re-purpose, get everything done by 3pm, no more sweets, and pick up after myself.

More to come...

10 Things That Happened Since We Last Talked

It seems that no matter how many blogs I start and stop, I always come back to this one. It's home, I suppose. My constant. No real theme, just life. And I like it that way.

So much has happened since I last wrote.

1. I lost my job. It was difficult, and hurtful, and I'm still reeling from the sudden change.

2. I decided to stay home for now, and it has been the BEST decision. I'm really loving it.

3. I took a 12-hour-per-week "job" at a Mom's Day Out program. It's basically a chance for Maple and I to get out of the house a couple times a week, and it's working really well. I love the kids/babies I work with, and the supportive and loving atmosphere of the ministry is exactly what I needed after the fallout with my previous job.

4. Hubby and I decided to do a part-time internship at our church. If you haven't heard, The Life Church is AWESOME! Here's a video that depicts exactly what we're about: video. Yeah, B and I are pretty stoked about being a part of changing this city. We (The Life Church) will be feeding over 1,000 children in our city by the end of the year. Yeah, you read that right. There is so much more to say about this. More to come...

5. Chloe started Kindergarten. She is soooo cut out for the classroom setting. Lots of routine. Lots of rules like, "You get what you get and you don't pitch a fit." Or, "Hand on your hips and finger on your lips." She goes around the house trying to get Maple to follow suit... Maple isn't as happy to comply as her older sister is.

6. I'm selling my art. Well, I'm attempting to. I have sold one piece of refinished furniture, and I have a festival coming up in a couple weeks. I'm a little bit super excited.

7. Hubby tore his ACL in a basketball game. I waited on him hand and foot for about a week; then I said, "Get your booty off the couch and do something with your life!"... Okay, the truth is that he is so eager to be self-reliant again that he's not going nearly as slowly as I would like. He pushes himself in physical therapy, and his bum knee has barely slowed him down at all. He's pretty awesome.

8. Chloe will be five soon. *sigh*

9. We got a dog. Her name is Sophie. At the Animal Shelter, they named her "Trouble." Now I know why. You can read more about Sophie here.

10. I suppose I'm blogging again. That's noteworthy, right?

Spent

"Work/life balance."

"Have it all."

"The best of both worlds."

"Working mom."

What a load of crock.

Sorry.

It has been a rough week.

But honestly, are there any mom's in the world who are happy with this new "normal"? Get up early to get just a few minutes of quiet. Rush to get the kids clean, dressed, fed, and out the door. Oh, and they should probably be happy. Yeah. That's important.

Sit at a desk all day, working for a paycheck.

Go home, exhausted. Figure out what's for dinner. Play with the kids. Try to stay engaged and upbeat (at least until bedtime). Clean up after dinner. Make sure everybody has clean clothes for the morning. Take the dog for a walk. Maintain a decent conversational flow with the husband. Try to stay awake past 9pm. Have s*x (even if you're exhausted, because it's what good wives do). Close your eyes and then remember - forgot to let the dog out one last time. Get up, let the dog out. Check email, just in case. Fight the dog as she goes back in her crate. Crash into bed. Realize it's midnight, and you will only be getting 5 hours of sleep tonight.

Start it all over again the next morning.

Really?

This is the dream?

This is "having it all"?

REALLY???!

Okay, in all fairness, I have it easy for a "working mom."

My office pays a nanny to watch the kids right down the hall from me. I get to see them whenever I want.

I have two beautiful, healthy, well-adjusted little girls who are (mostly) easy to parent.

Sweet Hubby does more than most men I know for the home and family. (I can't even remember the last time I had to wash dishes or do laundry.) Plus, since he's a teacher, he comes and gets the girls from work 2-3 days a week in the summer.

My job is from 8:30-4:30, with very flexible paid time off.

Our dog has a nice big back yard she can run around in (and burn off some energy).

But even more than that...

I have clean water to drink and bathe in.

I sleep in air conditioned comfort.

I have healthcare and doctors who are well trained.

I have food in my pantry.

I have a bed.

I have a roof.

I have a family who loves me.

I have friends who support me.

I realize. I do. That there is so much to be grateful for.

But I'm spent.

Every last penny of energy, ability, willingness - spent.


But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Here we go again...

I'm starting a new blog. Again.

I have actually been working on it for the past several weeks (hence, the lack of updates here), and I'm super excited about it.

No worries, folks. My12hats is sticking around for days when I want to write about family or spiritual stuff.

But I'm turning my focus to... well... cooking. Yum!

To hear about my new "friendship" with Paula Deen, go here: http://kitchinbliss.blogspot.com.

As always, thanks for stopping by!

The late sleeper and the early riser.

It's 5:30am, and I'm just finishing my first cup of coffee. Maple stayed up late last night; so she won't be awake for a while.

Oh, nothing in our schedule changed.

Around 6:45pm we started putting on PJ's and washing hands and faces. Brushing teeth. Giving kisses. Quieting down.

By 7:15pm, both girls were in the bed. Lights out.

Around 7:30pm, I heard Maple singing and kicking the wall. Nothing new. She often sings herself to sleep (much to the chagrin of her older sister, with whom she shares a room).

Around 8:00pm, I heard a bump in the night. Since I was drowning in a sea of half-folded clothes, I yelled, "Get back in bed!" Silence.

A few more bumps. A few more threats. This is better than last night, I thought. Last night, I caught her sneaking out of her bedroom on all fours, flashlight in hand, crawling into the playroom.

Finally, around 10:00pm, I went to check on them before heading going to sleep myself. As part of our nightly routine, the girls and I tidy up their room. Books in place. Dirty clothes in the basket. Shoes in the closet.

Imagine my surprise when I open the door to this:



I left her there for a while. I knew daddy would come in soon and check on them, and I wanted to make sure he got the same chuckle I did. Ah, the joys of raising a toddler.

But now it's 5:33am. Not even the birds are stirring yet. It's 50 degrees outside, and there is a light breeze. I'm making hot chocolate and taking a few quilts outside to the lawn chairs.

I've been missing Chloe these days. I mean, we have been together, in location. But I'm feeling a bit disconnected from her. I want to know her little heart, and I want her little heart to know she is important to me.

So at 5:45, I'm going to sneak into her room and stroke her hair. I'm going to whisper for her to come down out of the top bunk. I'm going to help her slide her arms through her jacket sleeves and slide her little toes into a pair of pink socks.

And we're going to watch the sun rise.

Thank you, Jesus, for early mornings.