Monday, April 29, 2013

A healthy 'me' for a healthy 'we'

Last week didn't exactly turn out as I had planned when I woke up on Monday morning. Lots of kids and errands and a tummy bug and canceled "grown-up time" left me feeling depleted and spent by Friday mid-day.

And I have this habit of taking a small period of time (like a really hard week) and turning it into a commentary on my life. "It was like this all week, and it will be like this next week. And FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE I'M GOING TO FEEL LIKE AN EXHAUSTED ZOMBIE SHELL OF MY FORMER SELF."

It's enough to send any semi-sane person over the edge.

Today I'm back on this side of sanity.

(A big shout-out to my Sweet Hubby who flew into the house Friday evening and took over all the mommy-related tasks for the whole weekend. The only thing I "had" to do for the family was take the girls to ballet... which really means I got to sit with other mommy friends for 2 hours, sipping coffee, and getting in some real life grown up time. And while I was gone? He washed dishes, folded clothes, and tackled the disaster that was our bedroom floor. Yeah, he's pretty super amazing.)

In what would seem like completely unrelated news, our Pastors (an amazing couple who married in college, lived overseas in the early years of their marriage, had kids at a young age while building a church far away from their family and friends) (sound familiar?) have been teaching together on Forever Marriage.

I have LOVE LOVE LOVED this series. The first week of the series, they taught us that we must "Build a healthy 'me' so we can have a healthy 'we'."

All weekend, as I was recuperating from the stinkin' thinkin' of the week before, that phrase continued to ring through my mind.

One of the things I was able to do when I worked full time was guarantee that I had SOME time each week to do things that *I* liked. One of the benefits of having  kids in daycare was that I got a WHOLE HOUR. EVERY DAY. to do what *I* wanted to do. It was called a lunch break. It was fabulous.

Many days I just sat in my car... in total silence... or listening to talk radio...

Some days I went out to lunch with friends who were also on their lunch breaks.

Or I wandered the aisles of Target, usually stopping in the stationary section to look at journals and candles.

I very rarely had a to-do list for that hour. Nothing else that I "should" be doing. That was MY hour. And I don't think I realized how much I enjoyed it. I didn't realize that my one-hour-a-day break helped me build a healthy me.

Looking at my life now, I can't have an hour a day to do whatever I want. It just doesn't work that way with small children and a 24-hour household and a hard-working, but always-busy husband.

But I have decided I need to add some things in my life that I enjoy - things I do for myself for no other purpose than I like to do them.

I might work on my blog some. I might go to the library by myself to pick out a book just for me. I might organize a closet (yes, that is an enjoyable thing for me). I might just lay out in the sun and be. quiet. for a bit.

Whatever I do, I have decided it can't include the following things: children, a husband, any to-do list of any kind, TV, facebook, or guilt.

A healthy 'me' for a healthy 'we'... starts today.

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The Quote That Started It All...

I myself have twelve hats, each one representing a different personality. Why be just yourself? - Margaret Atwood