Friday, July 10, 2009

Well, this is new....

I have never been a person to stay in the same place for long. I love to travel, to meet people, to experience new things.

In high school, I spent two summers in a row traveling around the southeast with a Christian drama company that I met for the first time two weeks before I left with them.

For my college choice, I wanted anything outside of Georgia, but close enough to where I could see Brandon once month or so. I ended up in Cleveland, Tennessee.

And, you know, there's the whole move-my-family-to-the-other-side-of-the-world thing that happened this year.

And through all my travels, though there were certain things and people that I missed while I was gone, I have never, not one time, never, ever felt truly homesick...

...until now.

I'm ready to go home, y'all.

Nothing in particular has happened. And I still feel a complete peace that where we are right now is where we are supposed to be.

But that doesn't change the fact that I miss being home in the U.S.

I miss English conversations in person.
I miss Publix.
More than that, I miss DRIVING to Publix.
Even more than that, I miss DRIVING through the Jittery Joe's drive-through on my way to Publix.
I miss going to a church where I can lift my hands and worship in freedom.
I miss clothes shopping. Seriously, all my clothes are looking a bit... frumpy.
I miss TLC and Food Network.
I miss the privacy of living in my own home.
I miss getting in the car and seeing family whenever I like.
I miss yard sales.
More than that, I miss going to yard sales with my mom.
I miss visiting with my grandparents.
I miss hamburgers.

This is a weird phenomenon for me. I have never felt this way before, and it has been an interesting journey this week as I have walked my way through all these emotions.

What is even more interesting to me is that Brandon has been feeling the exact same way (although, I'm sure he misses different things than I do). Still, we're both missing home.

The last couple days have been particularly difficult, perhaps because I was expecting a little much-needed reprieve from our routine, only to have it swiped from within my grasp at the last minute.

Like yesterday. I had planned a child-free lunch (to Outback Steakhouse!) with my good friend Eun-Young. I have not had an adults-only outing in over 10 weeks (since before Maple was born); so I was REALLY looking forward to leaving the little ones at home for a couple hours while I enjoyed a nice lunch. But alas! At yesterday's morning meeting, my the free babysitter (a.k.a. daddy) was "invited" to join a couple of the pastors on an outing, which I will discuss later because I'm not the least bit salty over the fact that he got to do this really cool adults-only thing while I was stuck wiping peanut butter off the back of the couch for the fourth time.

Not the least bit salty.

So, rather than cancel the lunch, I packed up the two little girls and headed out for a taxi. We did end up having a great time, despite the fact that I spent more than half of my lunch time entertaining Chloe or holding Maple.

*le sigh*

And then there's this morning. This morning I awoke quite excited about all the goings-ons outside my window. Ladies, gentlemen, and children alike were blowing up balloons, hanging banners, putting tarp on the playground and chattering happily while setting up for (wait for it...) Kids Camp! This camp has been going on for a couple days now, but we haven't attended because TODAY was focused only on Chloe's age group. They turned a corner of the playground into a swimming pool slash water slide. They had games and food set up inside their classroom. Balloons bounced around in the breeze. The weather was overcast and warm with a slight breeze. This was going to be a FU-HUN day. But alas! Chloe woke up with a temperature of 100.3. She's sick. A.GAIN. So, when at 8:45am my friend the Samonim called to remind me camp started at 9:00am, I was very VERY sad to inform her that we would watch from our window because Chloe was sick. A.GAIN. And that's what we have done this morning. We watched children from the window, skyped with the grandparents, enjoyed a peanut butter sandwich, and took a fitful two-hour nap. Because Chloe is sick. A.GAIN.

Not the least bit salty, I tell you.

So. Yeah. It has been a difficult week.

I wish I had some great spiritual revelation about how longing for home has reminded me about how we Christians long for heaven. Or about how feeling disappointment reminds me that God is my only constant. Or about how smelling like spit-up reminds me of how sin taints all our senses. Or about how making lemonade is the thing to do when life gives you lemons.

But Alas! I have no such tidy metaphorical wrap-up.

I'm just sayin' it's hard this week. Next week will be better, I'm sure.

Until then, I will try not to post any more entries like this. Because, although misery loves company, the company might be bored by misery.

Yeah. That's my deep thought for the day.

5 comments:

katiejo2324 said...

Hey Brandy! I'll be praying for you and for the homesickness to ease up. I went to Spain to study abroad 2 years ago, and even though it was only for 3 weeks, I had to go home early. I guess you don't have that option, but I just wanted to let you know that I kinda understand and that I'll be thinking of y'all and praying for Chloe to get better.

Brandy Thixton said...

Thanks for your prayers, Katie! You're the best!

Anonymous said...

You are loved. MOM

Brandy Thixton said...

Hey mom! You figured out how to leave a comments! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!

Starr said...

I'm so sorry that you've been homesick, and sorry that I haven't been more of an encouragement to you. I'll be praying for you this week! Love and miss you!

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