Anybody out there?

This is the 3rd time I have opened this page today. I'm still not sure where to begin. Coming back to a blog after 30+ days of nothing is like running into a friend after you haven't returned her calls... all 30+ of them.

So, like, hey. How you doing? Yeah, I'm good. Hey, look, sorry I haven't been around. Life has just been kinda crazy, ya know? So much going on. Work. Church. Home. Life. You know. Chloe's been sick a lot this year. Yeah, I'm still trying to get over something myself *cough*cough*... *awkward pause*...So... it was good running into you. Um, let's get together and talk soon, ok? Seriously, I'll call you. Mmmkay? Good to see you *awkward side hug*

Ok, so now that the initial awkwardness is over and done with, lets move on to more important things, shall we?

Recently... well... recently... life kinda sucks (if you'll pardon my French).

Here's the thing. The thing is, it's easy to blog when things are going well. I like to blog during those times. I like talking about weight loss and the funny things my kids do and all the things the Lord has been teaching me.

All of those things are fun to write about... except maybe the last one. I only like to blog about that one after the lesson is all said and done. I like to tell you how the Lord took my messy life and wrapped it up in a neat little 100-word-or-less devotional-type lesson for me to share with my nearest and dearest blog readers.

But when I'm in the nitty gritty of learning one of those lessons. When God peels back the bandage and reveals a nasty, gaping, infected wound that should have been dealt with a long time ago.

Well, you know how it's fun to show a scar after you've had a big accident? But it's not so fun to gross your friends out with the wound right when it happens?

It's kinda like that.

So that's where I've been. In the nitty gritty. In the nasty. In the infected, sensitive, painful lesson.

And, frankly, I wasn't ready to bring y'all in on that action.

But then I had a conversation with a friend the other day. She told me how she doesn't really like reading the blogs that give the idealized version of someone's life. She likes to feel like she's there, sharing someone's life with them.

And there I was, in the middle of that conversation, heaped in blogger's conviction because I've cut you out. And it's a habit I seem to have developed.

I write when it's easy. I write when it doesn't hurt. I write when all the healing is complete, and it's just a fun story to tell.

So I'm going to try to change that. I'm not making any grand promises, and I'm still not sure on what level those discussions are appropriate for the general public.

But, I am admitting it's a problem, and that's the first step, right?