Thursday, May 28, 2009

Didn't even check for spelling errors...

I'm tired and hormonal tonight. It's only 9:45pm, and I am ready for bed. Hubby is currently somewhere over the Pacific, flying home to the States. He is best man in a wedding next weekend, and decided to take this time to visit some family and friends. I'm very glad he's able to go. He needed a break and some quality time with American friends.

But, as I said, I am tired and hormonal tonight. So doing this whole thing without him is feeling a little overwhelming.

It's not so much the logistics of diaper changes and late-night feedings. Brandon works so hard and long at the church that my mom and I have handled most of the "baby" stuff up to this point. But on nights like tonight, when I just need a safe place where I can snuggle and maybe cry a little, there's no substitute.

So, I grabbed a bar of chocolate, pulled up a sappy movie on my lap top, got in bed hours before I normally do, and settled in for a much-needed evening of pampering myself (between feed/diapering the baby, of course).

In other news, Grandpa arrived today! This is the first time he has been to Korea, and I am so glad he finally made it! Chloe was thrilled to see him. She laughed so hard she almost cried. It's so nice to have family here.

Speaking of Chloe, please be praying for her. Since moving to Korea, particularly during times of big transition, she will occationally have nightmares. (I'm so grateful that she finally has a large enough vocabulary to actually tell me about them.) Usually, she wakes up crying, tells me about the dream, and then forgets about it.

But a couple mornings ago, she apparently had a doozy of a nightmare which included her getting hit by a car and me leaving her to go home to America. It has been so bad that Grandma had to sleep with her last night because at bed time, she broke out into a cold sweat and started screaming "I'm scaaaaaaaaared! Don't leave meeeeeee!"

I have never seen her like that before.

She did nap by herself today and has fallen asleep on her own tonight; though we still have to leave her door open.

Anyways, please be praying for her. There is a lot of transition going on in her little life, which includes (but is not limited to) mommy and daddy staying at the hospital a couple nights (she hasn't been separated from us since arriving in Korea), a new baby, Grandma in the house, daddy leaving for America, Grandpa coming to the house, and the beat goes on...

While most of these are very good, exciting changes, they are still changes. And I think it's just a bit too much all at once for her little heart and mind.

Other than all that, things are going really well. Physically, I am getting better every day. Still VERY sore, but finding joy in the smallest accomplishments. (I can sit on the bed now! Yay!) Emotionally, worried about Chloe and a bit hormonal, but handling it all in stride, I think.

In much better news, several of the Samonims stopped by today to meet Maple Anne and to congratulate me. They happened to come during a time when my mom was out (gone to get Grandpa), and so as they left, they said, "Chloe, come. See big brother." Chloe grabbed one of the Samonims' hand (the one that lives down the hall from us) and went to her apartment to play with her children. I left my door open, and she left hers open, and the kids just ran and played in between. It was so nice on several levels. First, becuase of her status in the church, it has been a little difficult to get to know the Samonim down the hall. She has always been very kind, and she sends us food on a regular basis (a common Korean custom). But because of the differences in our age and status, I haven't been able to really form a relationship there. This was a HUGE first step. She came into my home (for the first time) and then comfortably took Chloe with her to her home. She has a son close to Chloe's age and another older son who absolutely adores Chloe. Even the fact that she called them "big brother" when she got Chloe makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. :)

Ew. Fuzzy insides. Whoever came up with that phrase?

Anyways, when all is said and done in this disjointed post, I will sum with this: the Lord has been good to me this week. Maple is an angel who eats really well and sleeps three to four hours between feedings. I've cut out cow's milk, thanks to a tip from Shannon (my cousin), and that seems to have compeltely cured baby's tummy issues. I have two great grandparents here to help with (read: completely do all of) the houseword as well as take care of Chloe. So my primary responsibility right now is to take care of myself and Maple. Plus, even though I miss Brandon terribly, I know that when he returns he will be refreshed and renewed in his spirit and ready to get back to the task at hand - at home and at the church.

Ok, sorry for the randomness. Just a bunch of stuff jumbled around in my head.

Now I'm off to finish my movie and get some shut-eye (in my bed! for the first time since coming home! yay!) G'night, y'all.

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The Quote That Started It All...

I myself have twelve hats, each one representing a different personality. Why be just yourself? - Margaret Atwood